Totemites Everlasting

DECK GOAL : Use Azurite Prixis and multiple Cheering Sections to generate infinite totemites, use Shrine to Karvet and/or Clock of Stolen Hours to kill your opponent.

PLAYER GOAL : Giggle like a madman as a deck with four copies of Azurite Prixis clowns on people. Laugh uproariously every time a Harsh Rule makes things worse for your opponent. Double over in glee whenever some goober steals cards from you. Make a cool forty bucks from a friend of yours who didn't think your Prixis Memes could make it to the other end of Diamond I.

The core combo is Azurite Prixis and Cheering Section; once both relics are on the board, your dead totemites are replaced! With multiple Sections, you can even sacrifice one totemite to spawn a totemite for each section, like some giggling hydra of chump blockers.

To actually win, the deck has one main option, and a few side options: it's primary tool to turn 'not losing' into 'winning while laughing maniacally' is Shrine to Karvet, which turns your massive, bred-via-sacrifice pile of rocks into damage threats that also heal you. For side options, Kato, Arena Herald can do early work as a blocker and a few bodies, and once you've got enough butts in the void, it starts vomitting 8/8s, that you will likely be buffing with Shrine for added gas. There's also 4 Sandstorm Titans, which are good blockers and provide a big threatening body and some antiflier hate in the main. Lastly for possible ways to win, in the market, a Clock of Stolen hours lets a board of totemites present a threat even without a Shrine, and if you end a turn with 12 guys, you're PROBABLY starting a turn with 12 guys, and at that point you just win.

For card draw, Nahid's Distillation lets you turn a creature's attack into a draw 3, which pairs very nicely with just killing it right after. Kindling Carver lets us draw at the cost of creatures, and if we've got Sections out, we can use it to get more Totems as well by just not playing our draw. Calibrate and Destruction Chant let us thin the deck and psuedotutor the relics and power we need to go off, and in the case of Chant, let's us Invoke for some spice or some hilarity. All of this card draws plays nicely with Tota Pioneer, who responds to all of these cards by giving you energy for the turn (at least for the first one of the draws played), which can lead to some amazing fast-starts with the right hand. Additionally, Unearth the Past protects us somewhat from relic destruction AND lets us use the Prixis mill to draw combo pieces in a pinch. Our merchant of choice is East Annex Smuggler, for being the best fighter, letting him be a possible threat while fishing for either our tech cards or our Xenan, depending on what we need. We've also slipped 2 Eremot's Machinations in, mostly to serve as a 5th and 6th copy of our merchant in a self-mill heavy deck, but it's 1-2-3 nature has a very slick Best Pull : Carver, Kato, Smuggler lets us develop 2 giants, trigger 2 'unit has died' loops of our Prixis-Section engines, and turn on Shrines for a gargantuan swing turn, all while letting us access our Market.

Speaking of market tech, Sandstorm Cloak shuts down flight as a win con, Hourglass keeps us from getting our board mass stunned or falling short, and also lets us attack into aggro, Bore lets us quickly and effectively snipe down curses and weapons and relics, and Lumen Reclaimer puts our trash back into our deck if all of our drawing and self milling has gone on a bit too long. Plus, it's a 4/4, and sometimes you just need a body on the board.

The deck takes its worst beats from having it's cards banned from being played, or from Strange Gladiator being able to recur relic destruction : there's very little the deck can do it the Prixis/Section engine is stopped, and the worst times I've had playing the deck involved getting Avigrafts or Citywide Banned out of playing Totemite Pups or Cheering Sections or Shrines, and if they follow it up by banning your MERCHANT, than you might as well go find something else to do. Attachment destruction can be a pain in the ass, but the Unearths help, and the main three relics are all four ofs in a deck with some pretty hefty draw. That said, it is fundamentally a combo deck; if someone draws the nuts and blows you out by turn 3....well, that's just life.