Strap in, folks, we got a funhaver one here.
This deck is the end result of a lot of small, silly thoughts I've had over time. Things like, 'Hatchery Hunter
can be good, right?' paired with 'Boy, I sure like Kosul Brigade
.' 'How can I make Clockroach
es not feel insufferable to go up against?' And then, quite importantly, 'How can I make a TJP deck that I don't feel like a scumbag for piloting?'
At some point, I came out with this. And I have no doubt probably confused a lot of you with just the decklist. I'll do my best to break it down.
What we've got going on here is three separate gameplans running off the same idea: 'Make a mess of your hand, and then make something useful out of it'. Find the Way
is a card that fixes you in a very influence-hungry deck, and is also two cards. Voice of the Speaker
makes sure you have enough
power once you start drawing it, and then when that's no longer needed, she's still generating you a hand. Worst case, she's a blocker so you don't get stomped by aggro. Privilege of Rank
is both power, drawing power for Voice, and 'something you actively want to discard', which we'll get to momentarily. Wisdom of the Elders
and Second Sight
are generically good for draw, and the latter is especially good for getting you more junk when you need junk; duping power when Voice is on-board, or getting a bonus Find, are non-negligible plays even if they're not awe-inspiring. Nesting Avisaur
can either multiply anything with echo (two free Finds is just a nice thing to have), or make your actual plays less expensive if things aren't going your way.
And now the real question. 'Why do I want a hand full of nothing?' Enter the three pillars of this deck. See, what I've found makes this deck go from 'a nonsense pile of memes' to 'this has actually won me more than a few games' is the fact that it's extremely flexible once you've settled yourself into place. This deck has no one combo because it's using a strategy that fuels three entirely different things, which will likely each confuse your opponent each time one hits the field.
First off, Kosul Brigade
. Probably what's objectively the smartest choice, it's pretty straight-forward to see why he's good here. What is a hand full of power that's useless to you on turn 8 but a nice stockade of bear food? This is your play when you've controlled the game for just long enough that you feel pressured to push back. 13/12 of stats on board for 6 mana and 3 pieces of accumulated garbage in your hand is rather potent and will demand respect out of nowhere
. It's also relatively obvious when it's not
the play, as well, since that's basically just a question of 'can they stop the bear'. Anything deadly that you don't explicitly want gone, a tall enough board that you can't swing in mindlessly without losing value, so on. The bear plan is really good at eating wide boards that you've done a good enough job stuffing until turn 6.
Secondly, there's Hatchery Hunter
, which I think I've literally never seen in constructed outside of exactly this deck that I made for purposes of seeing Hatchery Hunter in constructed. This is when you have far too much garbage and not enough ways to make use out of it, and the board's getting way too gross. He himself is a 4/4 which is okay, worst-case, but then ideally he gets you between 3 and 6 or 7 different snakes. You can, at minimum, play 3 of these at a time after playing him. 9/9 of stats in the air, distributed at your discretion, is pretty scary. The natural response is some full board wipe, but here's the thing that's sometimes easy to forget about this card; you can, you know... just choose not to slam all your snakes down at once. It's tempting, I know, but your opponent already knows to fear you and your powerful, powerful extended family of snake children. You can keep snakes back for a reload, which is hugely important because the roach plan and the bear plan, in tandem with other cards like The Great Parliament
, have a pretty nasty allergy to Harsh Rule. With proper care and feeding, snakes can be extremely volatile.
Lastly, and probably the most initially questionable choice, is Clockroach
. Roaches in a deck with no Crown for them to wear, or no Vengeance for them to Swear, is something that I understand might raise eyebrows. That said, their strength, I believe, comes from being incidentally interactive with what this deck already wants to do, that being 'dupe garbage'. At worst, they are two more cards to feed your snakes or your bears. Somewhere in the middle, they're a pair of 3-drops that can block aggro. At best, though, this is secretly your third game plan. Imagine if you will, with everything I've said to this point, garbage to dupe, that might eventually stop being garbage. Pretty crazy, right? If and when it comes to it, if you have drawn the necessary tools and are in a proper position, it is a perfectly correct move to suddenly pretend you're a roach deck and build your way up to bigger and better things. And the best part is that at any given point during this plan, you will probably have roaches in hand, and it's perfectly fine to toss them in the name of whatever you need to suddenly veer into, be it bears or snakes. I cannot stress enough that this deck's strength is sudden sharp lefts into entirely different game plans; be willing to be flexible. I know, I know it's a nice set of scales up to a 10/10 roach, but if their board is much scarier than yours, if they have no gas in hand, don't hesitate to drop a Harsh Rule and some bears on there, if you're sure they can't deal with it.
With the silly, nonsense core out of the way, some notes about the rest of the deck:
, Valkyrie Enforcer
are relatively standard TJP control staples and probably the most sensible parts of this deck.
can either dupe power or roaches, or reduce the cost of either snake man or his sidekick bear boy if you want to get going just a bit faster.
The Great Parliament
and Mystic Ascendant
are generically super powerful cards that benefit from all the power you can search for with Find the Way
or Voice of the Speaker
Staff of Stories
is more draw if you have the board state messy enough that you're protected, which means more opportunities to draw the cards that make you win.
As one quick little afterword with all said and done, I figure I may as well explicitly state: I'm under no delusion that this deck is particularly 'good'. I just feel reasonably glad that I managed to make a pretty unique deck on my own (as far as I'm aware, I haven't seen this anywhere else) that can actually win games sometimes. That said, I'm very open to anyone with ideas for how to make this deck stronger, so long as it can maintain even 'kinda' the same shape. If I've gotten someone's interest long enough that they have any, well, that's already a victory in my book.